"Fart while u laugh at me ladie" by derekje84

There are some very specific fetishes out there in the world of the internet. Some very odd and specific fetishes. Today's example is artist derekje84.


The artist's comment reads "Please save and share this ladies. Enjoy laughing at me. Burden me with ur asses while u laugh at me. Please follow me on twitter"

Burden me with your asses? That's a really obtuse way of saying "I want girls to fart while they laugh at my naked body" Is this even a genuine fetish because I am suspicious that this guy just might be crazy.

"Mee" by sephyma-jones

We're back! Did you miss us? Kiss kiss!


The artist's comment for this piece says it's a photo intended to be used as their online ID, and finishes with a little embarrassed anime face. Oh, you cutie! I'm totally not cowering away from your giant dry cracked lips and horrible untidy room! (I am)

"Playday with the "X" 5" by Mzdish

It's about time we showed another photograph. This time our budding artist is DeviantArt user Mzdish. Round of applause, please.


Admittedly I first thought this might be a troll-post, so I checked the gallery of Mzdish... but nope, it's the real deal. This is... they wanted people to see this.

They thought people should see this.

I'm frightened.

"my swagga sagg 3" by VonteSS

DEVIANTART. ART SITE. FOR ART.


OH SHIT THIS IS ARTY AS ALL FUCK no wait it's just your underwear peeking over your jeans and your messy-ass room behind it. Nice.

"which hat?" by arancarr-itari

Do you have difficulty making incredibly small decisions? Do you have no friends you could call or text to ask for opinions? Do you rarely go outside? Arancarr-itari has these problems, and they've enlisted DeviantArt's help!


The artist's comment reads "HELP MY TWO FAVORITE HATS OF ALL TIME AND I CAN'T DEICED" Really? ....Really?

You can't decide which ugly hat to wear around your house today? Are you sure you're not just desperately lonely and had nobody to show your hats to? It's ok to admit you're an attention-whore, arancarr. The first step to overcoming a problem is to realise you have it.

"CAT BOY WHITE VARIANT" by DUSKtheIMPALER

Oh goodness, just look at you, DUSKtheIMPALER.


We've gotta make a list for this shit, this is just too much.

• Kitty hat
• Katana
• Wall scroll
• Naruto poster
• Millions of volumes of anime

Shit, it's like I'm really in Japan here bro! Do you eat ramen for breakfast using pocky as chopsticks? Kawaii!! ^_^

"Satan's bitch" by ToshiroHitsugaya10

Artist toshirohitsugaya10 has just started to use the marvellous art tool known as Photoshop, and he's eager to show us his first attempt at getting to grips with all the new possibilities at his fingertips.


The kid's got talent - I can barely tell this image is edited at all. If I hadn't read the artist's comment I would have sworn this was a completely legit photo of a woman with some very small horns and a curtain of flame on top of her head. Oh, and a 666 tattoo.

I love the little swastika thrown into the background there. Touch of class.

"More than he can handle" by IssacNewton2010

I'm unsure what to say. What do I say to this?


The female body gets used a lot in art, particularly painting and photography. I guess the artist here knew that, and he tried to use the female body as the centre for his piece, but he just really didn't know how.

The artist's comment says that this is "Renaissance Humor" but I don't really have any idea of the context. Is that tiny statue with the oar going to smack the lady's butt? Can he please not?

"My first prepared meal" by darkythestrange

Welcome to cooking class kids. Shit, did I say cooking class? I meant DeviantArt. Welcome to DeviantArt, kids. Your head chef today is darkythestrange.


The artist's comment reads "It's my first time that I cooked seriously. It's a salad cupcakes with creamed eggplant and pine nuts...I can say that the taste was good. the presentation is horrible..."

I don't really get why you'd put this internet. I mean, they even say that the presentation is balls so they know it looks horrible, so why? It's not like I'll be able to taste it if I lick the screen. Maybe they were just really REALLY proud of having actually cooked something

"Shit, I did something I never did before! I gotta take a picture and show DeviantArt!"

If you are actually interested in cooking I know a couple of students who run a blog called DELICIOUS TASTY, where they share recipes for cooking on a budget. Check 'em out!

Though, for the record, I didn't feature this just to be an advert-whore for my friends. That food genuinely looks fucking horrible.

"Label" by 2case

What time is it? It's artsy greyscale photography time, courtesy of artist 2case.


The message behind this piece could not be more apparent if 2case wrote it onto a plank of wood and rammed it down my throat. Don't label people! Labelling is mean. Everyone is unique and has lots of depth. Look at my empty glasses frames and acne.

I like to think that the model here has actually nodded off and someone has written on her forehead as an impish prank. At least that way someone would be having some darn fun.

"Don'tcha wanna squeeze'im?" by draysonite

October really does seem to be bringing out the more haunting of the DeviantArt beasties, an example of which we can see in this next piece by artist draysonite.


Some sort of fiendish transformation seems to be happening here. A wizard has cursed this poor boy to live out the rest of his days as a teddy-bear amputee. Or maybe this is a college prank?

"Hey Tom," says Hank, "you know our amputee roomate, Bill? I have a great idea for a prank. What if one day we stick some ears and face-paint on him and make him think he's transformed into a creepy man-bear?"

Though the weirdest - THE weirdest thing about this situation is the artist's comment. It ignores the picture altogether, choosing instead to give students advice on time management.

"Adjusting to dormitory life can be difficult," it reads, "The newly discovered freedoms are wondrous indeed. Watch what you want t," o watch. Hang out with whomever you wish to hang out with. And how wonderful to not be yelled at if you don't get out of bed on time.

BUT

With that freedom comes a sort of lonely responsibility. You are now in charge of getting yourself up. You're supposed to monitor your leisure time. And you're not supposed to hang out with just anyone. People can bring you down, you know, bad influences and all that.

SO

Let this be a word of warning. Skipping classes to sleep in because you and your friends feel more comfortable being night-owls is bound to be detrimental. Trust me, this is for your own good.

And, in the future, if you avoid signing up for classes that happen before noon this wouldn't even be an issue."

Are you guys feeling uneasy too?

"Depression" by Purplesparks17

We don't feature nearly enough photography on this blog, so it's time for a visual treat courtesy of artist Purplesparks17.


Depression. You can tell this guy is depressed because he's fallen over wearing black. Actually, since he's holding his stomach like that he might have made a typo and meant to call this Indigestion.

The cause of sickness might be the amount of fiddling he's done with the damn contrast sliders in Photoshop. Look at those garish colours. I feel like I'm looking at a picture of a tiny dwarf who lives in a kaleidoscope. At least take the neon lime tarp off the sofa before you take your pictures for the internet, kid!

"hunting season" by Geeky-Me

Halloween's coming up soon, isn't it? I guess we should start getting into the spirit by showing you some creepy shit. Fortunately there are artists on DeviantArt always willing to provide nightmare fuel, and today's giver is artist Geeky-Me.


There's no real explanation in the artist's comment for this one - just the words "hunting season" with no punctuation or anything. As an educated guess I'd say we're meant to think that the cat-goblin is the one hunting the dead-eyed porcelain corpse, but I really don't know. Maybe the haunted child is just playing innocent before it spins its head around and unleases a shriek high-pitched and powerful enough to shatter the scary cat's organs into gooey pieces.

That cat has the face of a rapist who has never been brought to justice. Look at the menevolent delight in his eyes. Can you imagine having that fucking thing somewhere in your house? You'd wake up to find it towering over you, mid-way through the act of coaxing a spider out of a matchbox and into your mouth.

Creepy.

"Delightful Captivity" by BBW-Allie

The front page of DeviantArt is always a mixed bag. Sometimes it's relatively boring, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes...


Oh good lord, madam, that is not a flattering angle.

My guess is that the artist here was going for a "big is beautiful, sexy photography" shot. Unfortunately their budget was a little small to hire a studio or even put up a curtain so they just took the photo in the middle of their dirty-ass house. The wallpaper seems to be tearing itself off in an effort to escape this horrifying situation. I can't blame it.

And that's not even looking at the model herself. What, exactly, is the rhyme or reason behind caking so much eyeshadow around your eyes you look like you fell over your piles of miscellaneous fabric and shit when you walked in the door? Perhaps this woman has been kidnapped, beaten into submission and made to pose at an un-camera-friendly angle with a giant gobstopper in her mouth.

Still, at least they put nice little floral borders in the corners of the photo. See, all it takes is a touch of class.