"adoptable +Candy+" by xXVanillaVodkaXx

Adoptable characters seem to be big business nowadays. Internet artists doodle up a bunch of multicoloured wolves or Sonics or Renamons, and people who want to be friends with the artist pay them real money for the right to say that one of the little rainbow Sonics/Renamons/wolves is their own. It's a crazy phenomenon, and providing an example of it today is artist xXVanillaVodkaXx.

That's right, for money dollars you could own your very own scantily-clad, bow-legged Sonic-slut. Complete with partially-visible-bikini-bottoms and three-foot-long eyelashes!

I'm not sure what's keeping those daisy dukes attached to her waist - it feels like this is a photo of the moment before they tumbled down to her ankles. Not to her feet, though. Those are hard to draw.

"wolf comic page 7" by GWolfG

Wolf wolf wolf wolf wolves wolf wolf GWolfG wolf wolf wolves wolves wolf wolf wolf. Wolves wolf wolf wolves wolf? Wolves!!

It's times like this I wish we had some more specific entry tags, like "characters floating in a featureless void" and "putting small pictures of a character in their speech bubbles to try to make your clusterfuck comic make more sense". This piece unfortunately suffers both of these - as well as a bad case of "talking disembodied wolf heads" syndrome.

Take two of these little caribou-carcass-shaped pills every day and it should clear up.

"ANTHRO KimmyKat Matryoshka" by xxMidnightTigerxx

Our latest piece is by artist xxMidnightTigerxx, and apparently features a character named Kimmy.

I'LL BITE OFF YOUR COCK

Holy shit. Well. I mean, let's be honest - that's the face of a rapist right there. Two of them, in fact, if you notice the creepy look the hood of her jacket is giving to you.

It's difficult to get along to subjects like the oversized head or invisible hands or muscular neck because every time I catch the gaze of those eyes I freeze like a deer on a highway. Jesus, I need to go and lie down.

"Rose ate Star" by shadevore

It's been a while - there have been tears, laughs and lessons learned - and now it's time to make fun of more horrible internet art. God bless us, every one. Today's sacrifice to the altar is piece "Rose ate Star" by artist shadevore.


I wonder which parts of this image shadevore made! The background blends so well with the characters I'm inclined to believe this was all the work of one person, toiled over for hours under the light of the moon.

The expression that sun is making is similar to the one I made when I read the dialogue in this piece. "Why has green Renamon trapped that blue goth Knuckles in a purple sphere? She says it is her belly, but I do not believe her."

"Fart while u laugh at me ladie" by derekje84

There are some very specific fetishes out there in the world of the internet. Some very odd and specific fetishes. Today's example is artist derekje84.


The artist's comment reads "Please save and share this ladies. Enjoy laughing at me. Burden me with ur asses while u laugh at me. Please follow me on twitter"

Burden me with your asses? That's a really obtuse way of saying "I want girls to fart while they laugh at my naked body" Is this even a genuine fetish because I am suspicious that this guy just might be crazy.

"Cookies nomnomnom" by NishiChan

It's about time we made fun of a western kid badly imitating anime and manga drawing style, isn't it? Our sporting contestant today is artist NishiChan.


Time for a bullet-point list, I feel.

• Cat ears
• Obsessing over cookies
• Nom nom nom sound effect
• T-shirt claiming to be a 'cookie maniac'
• Wearing a spiked collar despite not being a doberman

Goodness, we have a winner here. A winner with a very round, balloon-like head. And hilariously un-detailed feet. Shoes are hard to draw man! You don't get it!

"Mee" by sephyma-jones

We're back! Did you miss us? Kiss kiss!


The artist's comment for this piece says it's a photo intended to be used as their online ID, and finishes with a little embarrassed anime face. Oh, you cutie! I'm totally not cowering away from your giant dry cracked lips and horrible untidy room! (I am)

"ArchibkuroXTaeyddi Very Much" by TheGreedGirl

Holy shit you guys! I just learned how to use the airbrush tool! I need to use this thing as much as possible so I can become the airbrush master!


Shit, now I've overdone it and everyone looks like creepy glass statues. That was not my original intention! Oh well, I guess I'll stick it on DeviantArt.

This image is horrible, I don't care who argues. God could try to defend this shit and I would disagree. I can barely tell what the fuck is going on through all the white, it's like two otters covered themselves in paint and then rolled in cocaine.

"music is my life" by Mirppe

We haven't really been appealing much to the gay werewolf demographic recently, so I am legally obliged to share the following piece by artist Mirppe.


"The most beautiful thing in my life is Music. ." Really? The most beautiful thing? Someone sure needs a girlfriend. Or boyfriend, judging by that haircut. Thanks for adding the iPod logo too - this image wasn't quite shallow enough without it.

Here's a fun game to play with this image - measure the size of the dog's head with your thumb and forefinger, then move your hand down and compare it to the size of his SUPER MUSCULAR waist. That's one top-heavy canine right there.

"Playday with the "X" 5" by Mzdish

It's about time we showed another photograph. This time our budding artist is DeviantArt user Mzdish. Round of applause, please.


Admittedly I first thought this might be a troll-post, so I checked the gallery of Mzdish... but nope, it's the real deal. This is... they wanted people to see this.

They thought people should see this.

I'm frightened.

"There are diamonds In the SKY" by Mr-MellowSmile

It's not every day you see a dog enjoy the effects of drug consumption. Today artist Mr-MellowSmile has given us a rare and precious sight to see.


Look at that huge, lopsided smile... those glazed, unfocused eyes... the way it's tilting to the left a bit too far... this dog is having a whale of a time. He's all like, "why the fuck am I wearing a scarf? You guys I'm so high right now, where did this scarf even come from"

Maybe it was drugs that made the artist too lazy to do a proper background and they had to resort to slapping colours about. Who knows.

"naughty bot" by Plesio-Guardian

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place, go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your door
Is the whole night what we've got in store?
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I jizz in my pants


I think that's what's happening, anyway. There's mysterious fluid leaking out from beneath this Transformer's rectangular crotch, but then that doesn't explain the odd tentacle wrapped around his hip. Dark forces are at work here. Dark, sodomising forces.

"VOCALOID LOVE" by SPICE-EMPEROR

Hey who feels like venting out their loneliness by drawing themselves in a cute situation with an imaginary anime girlfriend? Everyone sniff back those tears and prepare for our next piece by artist SPICE-EMPEROR.


I don't know about you, but this reeks of 'I traced that shit' to me. I don't really feel like googling "Miku with no pants looking frightened" though. I'll leave that to other aspiring internet detectives.

The artist's comment for this piece admirably admits "I make Miku a bit punkish..gothish..scene..ish? Because I love those types of girls, and they aren't really well presented in..anything >:I and if they are they're always HxC BR00TAL type girls or like..ultra feminists or something..crazy I guess D: < IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A CUTE GOTH GIRL WHO'S KINDA QUIRKY AND SWEET AND NOT ALL HxC?!"

I love that attitude. "Yeah I changed the character into what I personally find more attractive. What do you mean it's not the same character anymore? It's hotter now! Mmmmm goth girls"

"my swagga sagg 3" by VonteSS

DEVIANTART. ART SITE. FOR ART.


OH SHIT THIS IS ARTY AS ALL FUCK no wait it's just your underwear peeking over your jeans and your messy-ass room behind it. Nice.

"Heriberto Banuelos" by Sonic432

Sonic fan-art getting too samey? Sick of everyone having the same little round body and rubbery arms and giant conjoined eyes? Artist Sonic432 has the answer for you!


Everything about this is a mess, from giant head to wrinkly arms. Look at those disgusting shoulders. What the hell is going on with that chest? And that's some nice effort spent on the background, too.

"the mansion 20" by Apokol

I thought I was done adding entries for today, but sometimes you just find something that's too good to pass up. Today's lucky provider is artist Apokol.


WHY IS SHE HOLDING AN ENORMOUS PAIR OF TITS WITH ANIME EYES.

Seriously even for fetishist shit this is weird beyond words. What the hell do I comment with? Those sure are some disgruntled-looking disembodied anime tits! I wonder if they talk through the nipples.

Y'know, usually I try to keep these choices completely out of context and stick with just what was on the front page, but fuck it. I'm gonna go back a page and find out what caused this shit. We're going maverick.


OH WELL THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

I wish someone would tell these creepy fetishists about, y'know... tits only lactating when there's a babby to feed. Though a woman did just turn into a giant pair of bongos with anime eyes so I guess biology is the least of this crazy motherfucker's concerns!

"Stocking" by EvilEyeXYZ

Oh good, fanart where the character is turned into a fatty. This definitely isn't incredibly common and weird. Providing for us today is slop-dishing artist EvilEyeXYZ.


It's better than the usual fare - there's some genuine talent beneath all that lard and shiny filter - but this image is lopsided as all hell and try to imagine poor Stocking's head if she shaved off her hair. Yikes.

Believe it or not this is actually a commission - someone paid real money to see an anime character drawn fat and shiny.

I swear to god, give it another couple of years and we'll be harvesting lonely shut-ins and furries for gold like masturbating bank vaults. Just you wait.

"which hat?" by arancarr-itari

Do you have difficulty making incredibly small decisions? Do you have no friends you could call or text to ask for opinions? Do you rarely go outside? Arancarr-itari has these problems, and they've enlisted DeviantArt's help!


The artist's comment reads "HELP MY TWO FAVORITE HATS OF ALL TIME AND I CAN'T DEICED" Really? ....Really?

You can't decide which ugly hat to wear around your house today? Are you sure you're not just desperately lonely and had nobody to show your hats to? It's ok to admit you're an attention-whore, arancarr. The first step to overcoming a problem is to realise you have it.

"Sue naga comic page 1" by SmexySue

So, we're all friends here right? How about we share a quick hit of some bizarrely-drawn wish-fulfilment porn? No? Come on guys, SmexySue has already drawn it!


I don't know what it is about vore-fetishists and nagas (half-snake people). They seem to show up an awful lot to monch people down. Maybe it's because it's an excuse for them to be able to swallow huge things, even though they don't have the skeletal structure of a snake so that wouldn't...

I'm overthinking. Three big-titted eye-burningly-brightly-coloured Sonics are chilling out at the beach and another, horribly-sunburnt snake-Sonic creeps towards them licking her lips. I'm glad there's no more. I can just pretend she wants to steal their picnic basket.

Look at those tits. Is she rubbing her hands together in fiendish delight or is she just trying to hold those fuckers up? The mind boggles.

"shower" by Nebelstern

It's always nice when specialised porn tries to appeal to a wide variety of audiences. This piece by artist Nebelstern, applies to both pedophiles and inhumanly-large-titty-fetishists! Good job!


Look at that poor, sad creature. "Help me," she cries, "I have the body of a child, the tits of a giant and the snout of a pig. Please end my suffering." She certainly looks unhappy, anyway. That or frightened.

Considering the audience this is aiming for I'd be frightened too.